Carlo Anderton

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"I hear there's quite a nice bathhouse in Vanta, if either of you ladies would care to join me!" - Carlo to Niriley and Aura, upon their arrival in Vanta.

Carlo Anderton was one of the finest heroes to ever grace the pages of history. This tall, handsome and valiant hero was so celebrated in his time that there is an entire section in the library of Waterdeep dedicated to the autobiographical accounts of his adventures. Aliases: Carlo Anderton Nicknames: My Little Tubba Wubba (Lady Olivia ONLY) Home: Waterdeep Gender: Male  Race: Human Class: Fighter/Peasant Born: 1428 DR Died: 1504 DR (allegedly) (age 76) Relatives: ? Status: Immortal

Carlo Anderton was one of the foremost protagonists in the Kingdom's Alliance during the War of Shadows. At the sprightly young age of seventy-four, he single-handedly defeated the Spider Queen Mozana in single combat, before challenging the belligerent Count James Vladoc to a game of riddles, which he won, taking Vladoc's life as his prize.

Amongst Anderton's many conquests include the lovely and beautiful Lady Olivia of Vanta, who was rumoured to be a hidden claimant to the throne of Elderain, making Carlo one of the most powerful people in the land.

But really, he was just a sleazy book merchant who briefly travelled with Elderain's six Heroes.

Source: The Diary of Carlo Anderton

Early Life

The life of Carlo is one of high adventure, mortal peril and feats of bravery beyond the common man. However, even one so brilliant and incredulous as the great Carlo Anderton himself had risen from humble beginnings. It is these years of average upbringing that serve to remind those heroes worthy of legend that they are but mortal men; indeed, this may be seen as a just explanation for Carlo's own absolute humility and fairness of judgement unto all those about him.

The Anderton Family, earnestly suffering life's difficulties with a meager salary just shy of twenty-three thousand gold a fortnight, saw Carlo raised to be a hardworking noble, all too aware of the troubled and unfair world about him. His childhood brimmed with acts of generosity to all he met, such as the time he graciously returned a golden chalice to its impoverished owners to restore their fortune or when he doused the flames of a peasant burning at the stake with his glass of wine. (Critics stipulate that Carlo himself both stole the chalice, subjecting its owners to poverty after losing their prized possession, and sentenced the peasant to the burning for looking upon his person strangely the day before, but these claims remain without reliable source.)

After exhausting the annals of knowledge within his family's private study, the greatest library in the city, Carlo decided to forge his own path and struck out on his own at the tender young age of 35. (Critics suggest he was not alone but was accompanied by an entourage of 50 bodyguards, but this was later verified to be a more respectable 49.) This first venture, abruptly ended due to Carlo's concern at the appearance of a "scary-looking bugger of a bandit" on the road who was later verified to merely be a travelling farmhand, along with a subsequent successful venture, is marked by all historians as the start of Carlo Anderton's incredible adventures throughout Elderain.

Knighthood

Recovered sketch by Carlo Anderton of a fox seen on his travels. Described as "...bloody ten feet tall..." and "...brimming with devilish fangs, and a glare that'd send anyone scurrying...".

It is of note that despite the mighty caliber of the knights and mercenaries that accompanied Carlo out of the gates of his hometown, it was Carlo himself that saw the most action of all those around him. His autobiographical accounts of every danger encountered remain far more detailed and elaborate than the scarce writings from his illiterate protectors, clearly suggesting his ambition to see battle first-hand far exceeded that of the entire entourage. War historians to this day applaud the tactical genius transcribed in his diaries, clearly illustrating his wise caution at approaching any enemy and his embrace of the strategy of retreat. This bravery and wisdom allowed the party to survive a great number of dangers, mostly being variants of "...absolutely enourmous dire squirrels..." and "...terrifyingly bloodthirsty dire foxes...". Accounts of such foes were also seen in the scarce writings of some attendant mercenaries:

Day 17. Saw some squirrels and foxes today. Other than that noble bastard pissing his pants again after seeing wildlife for the first time, nothing new.
- Mavern Blacksword, Diary of Mavern Blacksword

The tension between Carlo and his attendants was a duly noted topic throughout this period of Carlo's story.

After several tumultuous weeks of great peril and glorious victory, Carlo came to the realization that his directionless "venture to adventure" that consisted so far of following a large circular path several times over would reap little glory without some significant change of approach. Thus, Carlo elected to return to his hometown, as a more worldly and wise 35-year-old man than the meek and meager 35-year-old child he was when he first left, and begged for requested knighthood. Carlo noted in his diaries the reason for this being "... hey, knights are gallant and brave, right? Why don't I start by being one of them?"

Heated debate and discussion followed this request within the innermost sects of the Holy Knights of Pelor. Many of the more immature[Citation Needed] and foolhardy[Citation Needed] heads of the Order refused the new member without relent, citing minor nuances such as a complete lack of experience, skill, courage or holy devotion of any amount or form on the part of Carlo Anderton. However, it was the wise knight Vallus Anderton, uncle to Carlo Anderton, who suggested Carlo's desire should be fulfilled due to his spirit and (more importantly) his status. In the end, not one knight could refute Vallus' words of insight and wisdom, and the Order begrudgingly accepted Sir Carlo into their ranks.

Divine Appointment

The Holy Battle of Celestia

The following information is taken from Carlo's own accounts of the events. The report states that he was in the Caves of Arragio at the time of his calling (a well-known source of highly potent hallucinogenic mushrooms, a fact believed to be unrelated to the following tale). Anderton recalls that he was visited by an angelic being, who came "with many arms and other appendages, and wrapped me in her firm grasp, before whisking me away to a beautiful mountain". Scholars believe this to be Mount Celestia, the seven-layered plane wherein the gods Tyr, Ilmater, Torm, and Pelor have their halls. Carlo then goes on to state "at the foot of the mountain was a huge army of beasts, in lots of shapes and sizes". Whilst some exaggeration is to be expected, it is generally accepted by scholars that Carlo was one of the primary heroes of the resulting battle, for he writes in detail about how he slays many of the beasts in the siege. He would have fought alongside the very avatars of the resident gods, as well as some of the most powerful beings of the outer planes.

Slaying the Three-Headed Lion of Abyss

Accounts differ on what exactly the Three-Headed Lion of the Abyss was, but it is indisputable that it existed, and it is also indisputable that Carlo Anderton was alive at the same time as the famed Lion. He was travelling with a mighty (but lesser known) adventurer at the time called Ronan the Barbarian, who was killed (according to Carlo) during the battle with the Three-Headed Lion, leaving Carlo to deal the final blow. Also of note but of little significance regarding this historical event is the fact that Carlo referred to Ronan as an "idiot" prior to the battle and wrote about wishing he could push him off a cliff. After the event, Carlo refers to him as a "hero" and that he made "a valiant sacrifice" so that Carlo was able to kill the Lion. The fact that there were no other witnesses to this mighty deed is generally assumed to be irrelevant, given the consistent reliability of Anderton's own writings as a primary source.

Academic Life

Anderton's academic prowess seemingly had no bounds. Recognised as an academic genius from the day of his birth, his parents spared no expense on his education, including hiring a private tutor in his twenties to teach him "basic etiquette". Carlo was an avid reader and writer, and indeed so much is known about his life because his writings were largely autobiographical. Carlo made a large donation to the library of waterdeep, and coincidentally the next month they dedicated an entire section to works on his life and deeds. Due to the monopoly Anderton has on the market of books about himself, a new sorting system was required, as the books could not be arranged by author. Thus the "contextual-chronological" sorting approach, also known as the Carlo Anderton Method, was created.

Criticism and Critical Reception

Anderton had a few critics amongst the Waterdhavian academic circles. Foremost amongst these was Rogg the Scorned, a northern tribesman, who wrote in his legacy stone carvings "I still cannot believe that anyone in Waterdeep listens to that idiot". Another was Archmage Stelandrus, a learned man of note, who wrote "the one they call Anderton was not amongst the most gifted of students, nor is he a proficient writer... indeed, I find his works inane, boring, and above all likely fabrications". The Archmage was swiftly removed from his position not long after his criticism was published by Galus Anderton, a wealthy merchant who went on to become the next Archmage despite his lack of proficiency in any kind of magic (Galus was also one of Carlo's uncles, in a strange twist of coincidence).

Bibliography

Carlo Anderton: A Study (1460DR) - Carlo Anderton

Carlo and the Lost Sheep (1460DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Dreams and Nightmares of Carlo Anderton (1460DR) - Carlo Anderton

Lost in the Forest (1460DR) - Carlo Anderton (editorial by Lumberjack Kargul)

The Great Wasp Tragedy (1461DR) - Carlo Anderton

Eggs and Beans: A Rumination (1461DR) - Carlo Anderton (a first dip into the wide world of cookbooks, regarded to be his least successful work by an exceptionally long way; several deaths in Waterdeep have been posthumously attributed to its publishing).

On the Hardships of Nobility (1461DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Wicked Witches of the University Admissions Board (1461DR) - Carlo Anderton

Why do Spiders have So Many Legs? (1461DR) - Carlo Anderton

My Sweet Ermintrude (Vulgar Poem Anthology, 1462DR) - Carlo Anderton

Prince Carlo and Princess Ermintrude (1462DR) - Carlo Anderton

Ermintrude, the Hag of Cheatingbitch Swamp (1462DR) - Carlo Anderton

Woe and Misery (1463DR) - Carlo Anderton

I, The Knight (1463DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Adventures of the Great Carlo Anderton (1463DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Denizens of the Night Library (1464DR) - Carlo Anderton

My Beautiful Bertha (1464DR) - Carlo Anderton

On How Not to Make the Same Mistake Twice (1465DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Wolf of Load-Bearing Pillar Avenue (1465DR) - Carlo Anderton

Carlo Anderton and the Seven Virgins of Cormyr (1465DR) - Carlo Anderton

Carlo Anderton and the Dragon of Dale (1465DR) - Carlo Anderton

Eggs and Beans 2: Unscrambling (1466DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Flooding of the Waterdeep Library (1466DR) - Carlo Anderton

What if Books had Teeth (1466DR) - Carlo Anderton

An Introduction to Blacksmithing (1467DR) - Carlo Anderton, with special thanks to Smith Erinya of Talorsdale

The Great Fire of Talorsdale (1467DR) - Carlo Anderton

Fire is Hot and Thirty Other Things You May Not Have Realised (1467DR) - Carlo Anderton

Carlo Anderton and the Demon Portal (1468DR) - Carlo Anderton

Spellcasting for Dummies (1468DR) - Carlo Anderton

Druidry for the Metropolitically-Inclined (1469DR) - Carlo Anderton

Carlo Anderton and his Sidekick, Ronan the Barbarian (1469DR) - Carlo Anderton

Carlo Anderton and the Caves of Arragio (1469DR) - Carlo Anderton

Carlo Anderton and the Battle of Celestia (1469DR) - Carlo Anderton

Carlo Anderton and the Slaying of the Three-Headed Lion of the Deepest Abyss (1470DR) - Carlo Anderton

Eggs and Beans 3: Just Add Liver (1470DR) - Carlo Anderton

A Sensitive Rumination on the Debilitating Effects of Gout (1470DR) - Lorac Drontane (widely believed to be a pen name used briefly by Carlo Anderton)

Olga: An Exploration (Vulgar Poem Anthology, 1471DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Conquests of Carlo Anderton (1471DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Castle of Doom (1472DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Eye of Argon (1473DR) - Carlo Anderton (widely known to be Carlo's magnum opus in the literary arts, showcasing a powerful command of the thesaurus Carlo had open throughout this book's writing.)

My Sabbatical: A Study of Cormyrian Poetry and its Women (1475DR) - Carlo Anderton

On the Spirit-Binding Tattoos of the House of a Thousand Whispers (1475DR) - Carlo Anderton

How to Poison Your Ex's Cat (1476DR) - Carlo Anderton

How to Bind Your Ex's Cat Into A Tattoo (1476DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Glorious Victory Over Cheatingbitch Swamp (1476DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Dangers and Perils of Binding a Cat Into a Tattoo (1477DR) - Carlo Anderton

1001 Recipes for Tuna (1477DR) - Carlo Anderton (widely regarded as one of his better cookery books)

Carlo Anderton, Champion of the Bouncy Ball (1477DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Sweet Wetness of Marisha the Marid (1478DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Legal Implications of Having a Lovechild on the Elemental Plane of Water (1479DR) - Carlo Anderton

On the Biology of Female Marids (1479DR) - Carlo Anderton

Twenty Years of High Literature (1480DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Eye of Argon 2: Grimgr's Revenge (1480DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Great Gap of Mighty Bertha (1481DR) - Carlo Anderton

The Whiles and Ways of Dryads (1481DR) - Carlo Anderton

How to be a Hero: A Hero's Guide (1481DR) - Carlo Anderton

On Fire: A Treatise (1482DR) - Carlo Anderton

A History and Genealogy of the Anderton Dynasty, or: Are Andertons Descended From Gods? (1482DR) - Carlo Anderton

Eggs and Beans 4: A Splash of Fish Oil (1482DR) - Carlo Anderton

Prisons and Manticores (1483DR) - Carlo Anderton (One of Carlo's least widely accepted books; a natural philosophy study that posits that the world and its inhabitants are a simulation ruled by unseen creatures that determine their fates via fickle dice rolls.)

Politics

Political Enemies

The Conspired Shaming of the Anderton Name

Personal Life

Anderton was a notoriously private person, despite his love of all the press attention. Questions about his private dealings were often hand-waved away, and he would launch into a tale about his latest grand adventure. However, it is known that he typically preferred to travel by carriage rather than on foot, and it is rumoured that this is due to crippling early-onset gout in his ankles. This was, of course, vehemently denied by the heroic adventurer, and he went about his great deeds regardless of the pain. Hermann of Daggerford (a member of the Vanta Bridge Society, along with Carlo) wrote that "such a man should be an example to us all; to carry on through great hardship and pain to bring joy to the masses is the greatest endeavour one could wish to follow".

Romantic Conquests

Lady Olivia

The dashing Carlo Anderton met the fair Lady Olivia of Vanta after he had been specially escorted to Elderain's capital by some mercenaries of little renown (for more information, please consult the pages of the player characters). Despite finding her to be half his age, twice his height, and at least five times his weight, the two began a white-hot love affair after Carlo [REDACTED], upon which Lady Olivia, overcome with passion, responded by [REDACTED] and then the two [INFORMATION EXPUNGED]. [The rest of this section has been removed due to violating our Community Terms of Service. Please contact Admin Niriley to learn more.]

Aura of Glaive

One time, Carlo asked the beautiful Lady Aura of Glaive to join him in Vanta's bathhouse, and she said no. This sent Carlo into a deep depression - for, truly, he had never experienced unrequited love before - until he met the vastly superior in every way Lady Olivia of Vanta. Later, Aura would admit her undying love for him, but her advances were spurned by the valorously faithful Carlo, now deeply infatuated with his wife-to-be. It is said that Aura turned to a life of crime in despair, and she was rarely seen in public again - yet another tragedy caused by Carlo's magnificent personality sending waves rippling through the land.

Social Life

The War of Shadows

It is an accepted fact that the War of Shadows in Elderain was begun due to the jealousy of the Drow Queen Mozana. The Drow invasion occurred at around the same time as Carlo fell in love with Lady Olivia of Vanta, and Mozana attacked the surface in a jealous fit of rage. Carlo defeated her in single combat with just one hand whilst holding a swooning Olivia in the other. The Drow fled in terror, pledging to never return to the surface for as long as Carlo remained alive. Carlo was known as Shadowslayer, and married Lady Olivia in a lavish ceremony at the palace in Cair Vanta not long after the end of the War of Shadows.

"Death"

Rumours abound that the great Carlo Anderton died in a cooking accident at his home in Cair Vanta, but this is considered unconfirmed. Several sources report sightings of him throughout the lands to this day, and the name Carlo Anderton lives on in history as a symbol for goodness, strength, heroism, and romance. This is unconfirmed, though, as several sources report that Lady Olivia Anderton gave birth to a son shortly after Carlo's supposed death; she called him Carlo-Jean-Pierre, and he was reported to have a stunning likeness to Carlo, going on to resemble him in every possible sense.

Character Sheet

It is understandable that one might wish to represent this bastion of might on the battlefield. As such, an estimation of his true strength has been quantified here, though it has obviously been toned down to allow for fairness in the gaming environment.

Class Level HP AC Proficiency
Fighter 20 324 28 +6
Statistic Score Bonus Notes
Strength 20 +5 Carlo's intensive workout regime meant that he reportedly had muscles the size of actual mussels.
Dexterity 20 +5 Carlo has often been involved in dangerous chase scenes and incredible feats of balance.
Constitution 20 +5 Carlo remained in perfect health well into old age.
Intelligence 20 +5 Carlo's academic prowess is beyond doubt.
Wisdom 19 +4 Carlo has long admitted that his weakness for pretty faces was his one and only weakness.
Charisma 25 +7 Carlo's classically beautiful features and exceptionally smooth manner of talking are well-documented.